THIS CANT LAST FOREVER , closed!

[tally caloi]

THIS ONE IS TO ALL OF US SITTING AROUND HERE ON FRIDAY NIGHT
AND SITTING AND STARING AT THE CLOCK DYING TO GET AWAY

only did the perfect not spend the rest of there friday night at a bakery as the clock neared close to twelve midnight. yet, it made no sense to her while she was still there as the owner brought her free coffee and talking with here time to time when there was no other customer. tally was a regular customer. like most, she came every morning to get her breakfast with no one else in the house who knew how to cook, but her, and after school to do her homework until closing time when she wasn't working as a dj or when she wasnt at dance or track practice. and the owner was always welcoming to even drive her home when it was raining on some nights because tally's house was on the way. the older woman became more of a friend and therapist, who would gladly listen to her problems and make sense of what she should do when tally couldn't figure out what to do in situations herself. tonight, though, the coffee shop never seemed to close and tally never seemed to want to go home. she had also found out that the owner, bailey, also had grown up without a mother who threatened to take her away like tally. there was more in common than the sixteen year old had thought.

most of the lights were turned off, and the sixteen year old had given up with the idea of pouring some of the vodka that was in her bag into the coffee while no one was looking, but someone was always looking. Fixing the hat on her head and running a hand through the bone straight brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders and onto her navy blue tank top and sweater. bailey left the table of silence as a new customer appeared and she went to go take there order now that everyone else had left to go to sleep and do what ever else they do on friday nights. friday nights used to something tally looked forward to. being a real party druggie used to be her, but not any more after her mother left. you would think that it was the other way around. important family members leave that means a lot to a teenager and then the teenager goes into depression and does drugs, but tally was opposite with everything. she did better in school, became smarter on the street, and tried to exceed with everything else that mattered to her. that didnt mean she was on hundred percent with everything.

tally had always been slightly on the underweight side. but ever since she really started to do more and more track and more and more gigs for parties meant that weight loss with the amount of food she normally ate brought her weight way down. she was always really skinny, just never classified as underweight. now, that was another story, yet she did eat, but some people didnt believe her. she was one of those people that could eat as much as they wanted to and then burn it off quickly. she always had wondered why she hadnt ever gotten her period until she was almost fifteen years old unlike all of her other friends. at least her father never seemed to notice it and never noticed the fact that she wasnt home right now, the one person who she always wanted to be noticed by. then again, tally ignored the three missed calls on her cell phone as she checked to see what time it was. bailey was still helping another couple that had walked in and there was only one other person who was sitting and on their computer and drinking coffee on the other end of the bakery. finishing the last bit of her coffee, she slouched a little in the both near the window, playing with the ends of her hair as she closed her eyes for a moment and then reopened them.

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[oliver ardagh]

davin.

if there ever was a stage
and drama was a game, you've won.

It was probably never good when you woke up half on... not even the bed, but on the couch instead. Davin groaned, shifting around a little bit as the fest of his body folded over the top half and he cried out in pain, knowing full well that human bodies aren't exactly supposed to bend in such a way. He swung his legs to the side and they hit the ground with a soft thud and he groaned, pressing his face into the carpet. For being as unorganized and angry as he was, his house was for the most part clean. There were bits of the small table that had once sat near the front door strewn across the place as he had broken it and thrown the pieces at the floor, the walls and everything else when he had come home after ending up in a fistfight with some asshole he didn't even know. It was an every day thing for him now, get into bars, get kicked out, get pissed off and pick a fight with the first person he came across. It was getting to be rather pathetic and he knew that he should start straightening out his life but he was done caring for a long while. He had just plain given up on trying to force any positive outlook into himself and it was really getting angering when people would tell him not to be so down all the time. What the hell did they know? They didn't know anything and he was going to do everything he could at all to kepp it that way if possible.

So there had been a reason for this lastest drinking spree. Well, it had been more than that, just not that had actually gone on in the bar. He's been high as a kite when he walked in the door and there was an explanation for that as well. He had been in the park, it had been a fairly brisk but nice day out and he wanted out of his hole in the wall apartment and he had just been sitting on a swing, minding his own business. He watched the small children as they looked so happy and so joyus as they played around on the slides and things and then he happened to look up at the wrong time and what he saw sent his heart soaring, only to drop right back down and smash into hundreds of pieces. He had seen her, or at least he thought it was her. She had the right facial structures, hair color and everything but something had hit him hard and told him that it wasn't her. He had almost went to see her, to ask if it was really her but he knew by the way she looked at him that it wasn't her. It wasn't Daniella. His heart sank and he had just been so angry, he had sworn that it was her, he could have put his life on it but then it wasn't and he didn't know what to do. So he did what he did best, he went and he drank and he did a line or five and drank more and went out and publically drank, all a dangerous combination.

So now, he had a massive headache and it was what, almost midnight? Pulling on a pair of pants and a tshirt that had been hanging in the closet, he pulled on his shoes and just sat on his couch, thinking about what he could do to make himself feel the least bit better. Nothing was coming to mind that didn't involve more drugs or more drinking and both would surely get him into more trouble than he needed and the last thing he wanted was to end up in jail. He groaned and figured he could go grab some coffee at the local bakery and try and keep himself awake. He slipped on a pair of shoes and locked up, not that anyone would actually break into his house. It had only taken him a few minutes to make it into downtown and he edged his way in, standing in line behind a couple before ordering a extra tall cappucino with a double shot of espresso for added energy. When he got it, he turned around and saw Tally, who he remembered from their adventures at school. Under normal circumstances, he would have just ignored her but being late and he was strung out, he quietly took the seat across the table from her and took a small sip out of his drink, leaning over the table slightly.

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[tally caloi]

BUT IT WASNT A SIN
A SORRY LIFE IN JUDING EVERY ACTION

tally really did miss coming home to a house full of people. it used to be her parents, her twin sister, her brothers, and her. dinner sometimes got awkward with the things that went behind the scenes of the perfect family, but it was fine up until the point of where the one person she loved most left. and with the impossible truth that the reason he left was her fault in the long run. if her father had never had a reason to set his hands on her tiny body at the age she was at, then her brother would of never left. he was bound to leave soon anyways, but the way it happened and then everyone else leaving not to long after was unexpected. so, naturally the girl was supposed to get into the drug scene seeing as the need for pills and booze ran in her family, at least to her mother who killed herself that way after her twin sister died. she never did anything serious enough to get her the hospital except for the time her sister and mother died. looking back at the pictures of her at the hospital that her friend took of her all nasty with her makeup all smeared and her hair all wet, it was not a pretty picture. she never got kicked out of bars because she was safe and liked to party, but only to a point. now, going to parties was either with someone or to be a dj. she never went alone in fear of one reason.

tally went to parties to get drunk and high, to end up dead in a car wreck when she was driving herself home. oh, yeah. driving herself right off the highway, but she always planned ahead. seeing as her brother usually worked at night to support the two of them, the house was always empty and the bakery was where she spent her nights until she got tired. it was odd to go from such a large house full to be by herself most of the time, liking it, but she also hated it so very much. she was never very much of a lone star except for right now. after all the coffee she had put into her body since after school, she was anything but ready to fall asleep. she took off her hat and hood, pulling her straight brown hair up into a perfect high pony tail. she figured that it was time to get a hair cut and get rid of the ugly white streak that was at the end of her hair. she sighed, looking down at her cell phone to see who had called her, but no calls from her brother. hearing someone sit in seat across from her, she thought it was bailey. she started to ask if she would mind to get her another coffee, until she stopped herself at 'would' when she looked up and noticed that the person in front of her was not bailey, not even close. "davin," she said, smiling a toothy grin at him. "hi." adjusting her sweater as she sat up straighter rather than slouching. "so, you dont sleep either?"

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[oliver ardagh]

davin.

everybody's looking around, wants to
be found but i'm just hanging on

Davin hadn't known what it was like to come home to a full house for years. He couldn't even remember the last time he had gotten to see his mom, dad and sister all gathered around at one table. It had been so long ago that it wasn't even a part of his vivid memories anymore. He tried so hard to just force himself to remember the better times but then he realized that it only made things worse and he hurt a whole lot more. Which made him drink a whole lot more. He was too prone to being sensitive to those particular memories that he just couldn't handle it like he should have been able to, then again, no one in their right mind would. It was a lot of burden for someone so young to carry on their shoulders and he was not even exempt from that and that was what hurt. He had to think about things from a whole new perspective. He had to see that the drinking and the drugs wasn't going to do him any good but it felt good. It was getting away from everything else and it was like feeling brand new again, not having to remember all of the pain and ache from before. That was what the drugs were for and they did their job well enough until he was dry again. Then he was right back to being miserable.

He didn't actually want to be here, he didn't want to be anywhere. he wanted to be back at home, sleeping but instead, he was here being miserable and his head was throbbing. He needed to just get over this headache and then he could go home and crawl back into bed under the covers and fall asleep and hopefully never wake up again. Yeah, that was only wishful thinking, though because if he really would have wanted to, he could have made it so but he didn't and instead just deal with what he had been given, though it was a shitty hand. He looked up at Tally as she spoke to him and he had to blink a few times to let her words process inside of her head because at first, they had just been a huge jumble that he didn't understand but after a moment of really analyzing them, he realized that she was talking to him and whats more, asking him a question. He took a drink from his cup and looked up at her shaking his head. "Hangover," he replied quietly, staring down into the cup between his hands. It was short and sweet and to the point. But not completely silencing conversation.

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[tally caloi]

THE DUST HAS JUST BEGAN TO FALL
SPIN ME AROUND AND AROUND AND RUB MY EYES


tally never thought about the past. once it happened it happened. then again, it wasnt all that good when it came to school stuff because she taught her mind to forget about things, but that didnt mean they werent still there. she just didnt have them popping in her mind all the time. the faces that were the most haunting stayed all the way down in her toes never to return up. yet, when she would walk alone the road or be somewhere and see a face that was somewhat like her fathers all those faces came back up to the boiling surface. and the worst time that she had that happen was when she was at the store and the man that was waiting on her to bring her food looked somewhat like her father. point blank, she started crying right in front of him and he thought it was the food, not knowing what to do, he just left. of course it wasnt the only time, others included fainting and such, but none ever seemed to be as bad as when she was actually face to face with the poor guy that had no idea what was going on through her mind. everyone else that turned to look at her just thought she was simply insane, which wasnt the case and her brother who came to pick her up explained the situation as tally sat in his car, trembling until she feel asleep on the car ride home, silently.

yet tally never doubted the thoughts of the other people. she wasnt insane, it was her family that was going to drive her to be insane in her elder years. but, there was always those calming thoughts run down by her brother that he often put into her ears when he used to pick her up from school. over all, as long as he was there, no one could ever touch her. except, already being touched, she sometimes doubted his existence of doing that for her more than twenty hours of the day, he wasnt any where near the sixteen year old. and without a license in her hand, how far was she going to go from where she needed to be. as fast as she could run and as long as she could run, crossing an ocean would be impossible. still, there was more people that were more screwed up than her in this world than she would ever be able to count. like the kid that was sitting in front of her. if people were right about him, then he was in the running right above tally. her expression went more blank as davin answered, she looked at him. "wont coffee make your headache worse?" coffee was the only thing that made her head pound even more when she was sick or had a hangover, then again, her body wasnt totally used to the drink.

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